Preparation
Three…six... nine…
“Oh Chucky…”
“What? “
“Where are my loafers?”
“They're in your bag”
Where was I, Crap… start all over again…
Three… six…nine…twel….
“They're not here all I see are your shoes!”
“No! The other bag!”
Sheesh…I'll never get these damn pills counted.
“What…?”
“Oh nothing dear”
Yeah… we're still packing and I'm trying to get all the meds rationed out so I don’t have to take all the big bottles, [thanks to the Mail order Pill Service] and of course I packed her bag so tightly she can't find a thing…
AND WE HAVENT LEFT YET!!!
“Yes dear, I left the itinerary with Steven and Henry and half the civilized world. They all got it in the NOWAT test”
“No dear, I haven’t packed all the film in the suitcase… it's all in the camera case” [so you can forget it at security again] “What… oh nothing dear. And I have an extra memory card for your digital too”
“Yes dear, Henry has the Vets number if anything happens to the dog.”
Now… where was I, Three… Six… Nine… Twelve…Fift…Awww fughedaboudit I'll just dump this many in the tube, that should do it.
I know now why I wanted to pack two days ahead. Aside from having to beg off a charity golf tournament on Saturday because of this nasty head cold that is working its way to my chest, I just know we’re gonna do the pack and unpack trick like she did for Spain… wait till she gets the Chinese weather report in Celsius… she’ll panic and unload half her sweater drawer in the bag before I calm her down and show her the temperature in Fahrenheit.
“Chucky… Did you pack the little steam Iron”.
“Yes dear.”
“And the Big Blow dryer… not that tacky little thing we had in Italy?”
“No Dear… I packed the cute little travel one we bought last week … and what was wrong with the one in Italy… it did dry your hair didn't it?”
“Well… yeah… but… Oh now I remember… the one we bought, that is… OK… Never mind.”
And so it starts dear hearts… The Wacky American Tourist and the even Wackier but still delightful Dragon Lady, just like Columbus, are heading East by going West…but unlike the fabled Northern Italian this little Sicilian man will get to the Orient for:
The Ancient Mystery’s of The Far East
A Walk upon The Great Wall
Some damn good Tchotchke bargains…
and a bottle of Fine Rice wine.
Whereas Columbus stopped in San Salvador for a cigar and a little rum, when his A.D.D. kicked in, and he never did make it to the Orient.
And if she doesn’t stop with the “Where Is it’s”, NEITHER WILL SHE!
Oh, and a Quick Thank You to our resident Yiddish scholar, Brother Earl, Class of ’60, who has corrected my spelling of tchotchkies [from the Yiddish Tsakies]. Now she can search for them using the proper term [if she can ever learn how to pronounce it].
Its now 9PM and we’ve had a full day just getting it all together, of course, she had to run out to get a Manicure and Pedicure [gotta look good for the Chinese tour guide ya know] and a tchotchke here and a tchotchke there to take along. Then A quick [well not so quick] trip to the mall…you never have enough khaki slacks for China ya know, and of course “oh that’s a cute blouse… oh and that one too”. You get the picture.
A nice meal at Rosalia’s [our favorite Italian restaurant in the mall] and back home to finish producing the Baby Announcements for Greg and Cristina [their printer sucks], last minute instructions to Henry for shipping all that stuff north, a relaxing shower and soon to bed.
I had to stop long enough to write this much while its still fresh in my mind…too many senior moments lately. And hopefully there won't be my usual 2AM session since we have to be at the airport @ 5AM for a 7AM flight… God Bless the TSA.
I'll write "Departure" on the flight to Newark as I'm sure there will be plenty to tell between now and then especially after she tries to navigate Security with all her bangles, fanny packs, a Camera Case loaded with Film, the bag full of books and neck pillows etc. Hopefully it won’t be a repeat of Spain 2002 where I had to do an imitation of an old OJ Simpson Hertz Commercial, running through the airport dodging travelers, furniture and small children to retrieve a forgotten camera case and fanny pack with her passport and all important Credit cards [she still can't live that one down].
Ooooohhhh wellllll… this WILL be an adventure!
再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
[that’s “Ciao 4 now Friend” in Zhong Wo Hua {Chinese}]
Chuck and the ever panicky... but still lovely...
Dragon Lady
