A New Beginning

5.23.7 Volume 1 No. 1
After several urgings and much trepidation, Uncle Chuck, the Wacky American Tourist has finally committed the NOWAT to a BLOG. {God save us all now!} Previously composed on the road and emailed, an ever growing distribution list made this media more practical.

For those that have heard all this before and are anxious to get on with

NOWAT CHINA...

skip past the itinerary and straight to

4.14.7 - Saturday - It Begins.

Sooooo sit back, pour another glass of your favorite beverage, prop you feet up and enjoy the trip.
We promise you it will be ANYTHING but boring.
 Ciao 4 Now,
 
Uncle Chuck & The Very Glad You Joined Us,
Dragon Lady.

NOWAT CHINA- 2007 - THIS IS ONLY A TEST!

THIS IS A TEST... THIS IS ONLY A TEST OF THE NOWAT NETWORK!!!

That's how it usually starts Dear Hearts, and innocent by-standers, Chucky and the Ever-Patient and still Most Lovely Illy are about to embark on another adventure - this is the NOWAT alert that went out to the world...

Yes Dear Hearts, Friends, Family Associates and other unnamed masochists…

The NOWAT ARE BACK!

[For the un-initiated 

NOWAT= "Notes of A Wacky American Tourist"]

And of course what would NOWAT CHINA be without those fun loving, globe trotting ever U-Turning Funsters, the "Wacky American Tourist 'Chucky and the navigationally challenged but Ever-Lovely Cuban Lady 'Illy'!!!"
Yes Chucky is FINALLY going to China
[Thank God… we thought he would never quit yammering about it and JUST DO IT... DAMMIT!!]

But fear not… all is not lost this time [nor them either... for once].
Since Chucky’s rudimentary MANDARIN is still not up to trying to drive and navigate Chinese road maps signs whether they be in Pinying "Romanized" translations or Modern Calligraphy. [well it has been 40 years since his interrupted studies of this ancient Culture], he has broken down and booked a private car, driver & local guide at each stop to speed them along their search for:

Ancient Mystery’s of The Far East
The Philosophy of the Wise elders
A Walk Upon The Great Wall…
and a bottle of Fine Rice wine.

Yes, Believe it or not, he has actually given up control
[well some, you KNOW better]
and is allowing someone else to do the driving.

And Hey… he can Officially use the term Dragon Lady when referring to his beloved’s original nickname before "Cuban Lady" became the norm now that he will be traveling in the land in which the phrase originated long ago in the ancient comic strip “Terry & The Pirates”... it's a long story... [and which of his isn’t] to be explained in person if you ever have the complete absence of mind to ask. [OhMyGawd… what were you thinking and what were you drinking at the time?]

So now... sit back and relax... pour another glass or cup of whatever you favor and prepare to enjoy Your trip to China with the Wacky American Tourist and the Ever-Lovely "Dragon Lady" Illy.

We Promise... it will be ANYTHING but Boring!

Ciao 4 Now
Chuck and the impatient for the bloody trip to begin...
Dragon Lady.

4.4.7- Itinerary

Welcome aboard

NOWAT CHINA 2007

or as it’s referred to around here “Chucky Does China”

Itinerary
Day 1 (Apr. 16, 2007), Beijing
Arrival in Beijing transfer to Novotel Xinqiao hotel for 6 nights
Relax and unwind.

Day 2 (Apr. 17, 2007), Beijing (B,L,SD)
Today's excursion begins with history of Beijing, as the capital of last 3 dynasties in Chinese feudal society. Visit the Forbidden city, Tianamen Square, Beihai Park, Jingshan Garden. Enjoy Beijing Roast duck welcome dinner.

Day 3 (Apr. 18, 2007), Beijing (B,L,D)
Today's excursion is to visit Great wall, Ming tomb, Sacred way.

Day 4 (Apr. 19, 2007), Beijing (B,L,D)
Today is to visit the famous garden in Beijing. Visit Fragrancy Mountain park, Summer palace. In the evening, you can take part in a party in Gaobeidian cultural village, and enjoy yourself as Beijing Local People.

Day 5 (Apr. 20, 2007), Beijing (B,L,D)
Today You will learn history of religion in Beijing. you will visit Yonghe Lama Temple, Baiyun Taoist temple, Confucius' temple. [we subed Temple of Heaven for the Taois Temple]

Day 6 (Apr. 21, 2007), Beijing (B,L,D)
Visit Capital Museum, Beijing Zoo with Panda house, Hutong tours.

Day 7 (Apr. 22, 2007), Beijing/Xian (B,L,SD) to Xian
Transfer to China Eastern Airlines flight MU2124 (1050/1240)to Xian, a city with a history of more than 2000 years, today you will visit City Wall, Big Wild Goose Pagoda, Bell Tower. In the evening, enjoy Dumpling dinner. Overnight at Xian Jianguo for 2 nights.

Day 8 (Apr. 23, 2007), Xian (B,L,SD)
Visit Terra-Cotta Warriors and Horses, Huaqing Hot Spring, Provincial museum, Enjoy Tang Dynasty show with dinner.

Day 9 (Apr. 24, 2007), Xian/Hangzhou (B,L,SD) to Hangzhou
Transfer morning flight China Southern Airlines CZ6931 (0900/1050) to Hangzhou, Visit Lingyin Temple, Flying Peak, Six Harmony Tower, Tea Museum. Enjoy Special Dinner of Hangzhou Flavour. Overnight at Hangzhou Ramada Haihua for 1 night.

Day 10 (Apr. 25, 2007) Hangzhou/Suzhou (B,L,D)
Cruise on West lake, HuaGangguanyu, Yuefei's Tomb, Tiger Spring. In the evening, transfer to Suzhou. Overnight at Garden View Hotel for 2 nights.

Day 11 (Apr. 26, 2007) Suzhou (B,L,D)
Visit Humble Administrators' Garden, The Garden of Fishing Net (Wangshi Yuan), Visit Watertown Tongli. [That got moved to day 12 since its on the way to Shanghai]

Day 12 (Apr. 27, 2007) Suzhou/Shanghai (B,L,D)
Visit Lingering Garden, Hanshan Temple, Tiger hill. If time allows, visit Embroidery researching center. transfer to Shanghai in the evening, Overnight at Hengshen Peninsular hotel

Day 13 (Apr. 28, 2007) Shanghai (B,L,SD)
Visit Jade Buddha Temple, Shanghai Museum, Nanjing Road, The Bund, Enjoy Farewell Ding Sum Dinner. Cruise on Huangpu River.

Day 14 (Apr. 29, 2007) Shanghai/Beijing/US (B)
Transfer to China Eastern Airlines MU5105 (1000/1220) to Beijing and connecting your international flight Continental Airlines CO88 (1545/1730) to U.S.A.

The next week will be a bit hectic getting everything arranged what with Dragon Lady flying off today to see the new Grandson in NC and not back till the 10th… leaving her in a panic that she can't get ready in time to go [who is she kidding… I do all the packing, she just emptys two closets, 1 dresser, 1 bureau, a hope chest, and a partridge in a .... etc onto the bed and expects me to cram it all into one suitcase…Samsonite doesn’t make a suitcase that damn big!!!]

The traditional “Prologue and getting started” transmission will soon follow. Hopefully a bit shorter than these first two… And if you're really lucky after each days activities I will be too pooped to pen a lengthy NOWAT and you can go about more productive and enjoyable activities such as: aunt Suzy’s mahjong tournament, your sister-in-law’s bratty kid’s [who can't walk a straight line] ballet recital or maybe root canal rather than being mildly amused at the Fun & Foibles of this Hapless Wayward Traveler and his ever trusting Dragon Lady on their quest for:
Ancient Mystery’s of The Far East
The Philosophy of the Wise elders
A Walk Upon The Great Wall
Some damn good Chotchky bargains…
and a bottle of Fine Rice wine.

Well that should hold you for a while…
Ciao 4 now,
Chuck and the Every Lovely... but Really tapping her foot to "get on with it now"...Dragon LAdy

4.14.7-SATURDAY-It Begins

Hollywood -
Preparation

Three…six... nine…

“Oh Chucky…”
“What? “
“Where are my loafers?”
“They're in your bag”

Where was I, Crap… start all over again…
Three… six…nine…twel….

“They're not here all I see are your shoes!”
“No! The other bag!”

Sheesh…I'll never get these damn pills counted.

“What…?”
“Oh nothing dear”

Yeah… we're still packing and I'm trying to get all the meds rationed out so I don’t have to take all the big bottles, [thanks to the Mail order Pill Service] and of course I packed her bag so tightly she can't find a thing…
AND WE HAVENT LEFT YET!!!

“Yes dear, I left the itinerary with Steven and Henry and half the civilized world. They all got it in the NOWAT test”

“No dear, I haven’t packed all the film in the suitcase… it's all in the camera case” [so you can forget it at security again] “What… oh nothing dear. And I have an extra memory card for your digital too”

“Yes dear, Henry has the Vets number if anything happens to the dog.”

Now… where was I, Three… Six… Nine… Twelve…Fift…Awww fughedaboudit I'll just dump this many in the tube, that should do it.

I know now why I wanted to pack two days ahead. Aside from having to beg off a charity golf tournament on Saturday because of this nasty head cold that is working its way to my chest, I just know we’re gonna do the pack and unpack trick like she did for Spain… wait till she gets the Chinese weather report in Celsius… she’ll panic and unload half her sweater drawer in the bag before I calm her down and show her the temperature in Fahrenheit.

“Chucky… Did you pack the little steam Iron”.
“Yes dear.”
“And the Big Blow dryer… not that tacky little thing we had in Italy?”
“No Dear… I packed the cute little travel one we bought last week … and what was wrong with the one in Italy… it did dry your hair didn't it?”
“Well… yeah… but… Oh now I remember… the one we bought, that is… OK… Never mind.”

And so it starts dear hearts… The Wacky American Tourist and the even Wackier but still delightful Dragon Lady, just like Columbus, are heading East by going West…but unlike the fabled Northern Italian this little Sicilian man will get to the Orient for:

The Ancient Mystery’s of The Far East

A Walk upon The Great Wall

Some damn good Tchotchke bargains…

and a bottle of Fine Rice wine.

Whereas Columbus stopped in San Salvador for a cigar and a little rum, when his A.D.D. kicked in, and he never did make it to the Orient.

And if she doesn’t stop with the “Where Is it’s”, NEITHER WILL SHE!

Oh, and a Quick Thank You to our resident Yiddish scholar, Brother Earl, Class of ’60, who has corrected my spelling of tchotchkies [from the Yiddish Tsakies]. Now she can search for them using the proper term [if she can ever learn how to pronounce it].

Its now 9PM and we’ve had a full day just getting it all together, of course, she had to run out to get a Manicure and Pedicure [gotta look good for the Chinese tour guide ya know] and a tchotchke here and a tchotchke there to take along. Then A quick [well not so quick] trip to the mall…you never have enough khaki slacks for China ya know, and of course “oh that’s a cute blouse… oh and that one too”. You get the picture.

A nice meal at Rosalia’s [our favorite Italian restaurant in the mall] and back home to finish producing the Baby Announcements for Greg and Cristina [their printer sucks], last minute instructions to Henry for shipping all that stuff north, a relaxing shower and soon to bed.

I had to stop long enough to write this much while its still fresh in my mind…too many senior moments lately. And hopefully there won't be my usual 2AM session since we have to be at the airport @ 5AM for a 7AM flight… God Bless the TSA.

I'll write "Departure" on the flight to Newark as I'm sure there will be plenty to tell between now and then especially after she tries to navigate Security with all her bangles, fanny packs, a Camera Case loaded with Film, the bag full of books and neck pillows etc. Hopefully it won’t be a repeat of Spain 2002 where I had to do an imitation of an old OJ Simpson Hertz Commercial, running through the airport dodging travelers, furniture and small children to retrieve a forgotten camera case and fanny pack with her passport and all important Credit cards [she still can't live that one down].

Ooooohhhh wellllll… this WILL be an adventure!

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
[that’s “Ciao 4 now Friend” in Zhong Wo Hua {Chinese}]
Chuck and the ever panicky... but still lovely...
Dragon Lady

4.15.7-Sunday

Hollywood
Departure

The Ox cart came to a rocky stop and the nice farmer motioned that we had arrived at our destination. What a lovely view of the mountain from here.

That’s funny… that dog sure looks like my dog Popepi… hey... it sounds like Popepi … wait a minute…it IS her…
and that’s my alarm clock over there and its says 5:53AM….

OHHHHHH SH!%... 

That was a dream and WE’RE LATE!!!!!!!!!

“Illy, get up, the alarm didn't go off and were late!”

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah… you pulled that one in Spain, it won’t work here in China. I'm catching 10 more minutes.”

“NO…Seriously…We’re not in China Yet… the alarm didn't work and we have 5 minutes to get to the airport…now move it!” 
I said as I yanked the covers off the still slumbering and now very cranky Dragon Lady.

Thank God the dog woke me up for her 6AM romp that she normally gets when Illy is getting ready for work and we are now scrambling.

“No time for make up…just swish with mouthwash, you can brush when we get to Newark.”

“No Teeth Brushed…. no makeup? Do you want me to scare half the airport?” She whimpers.

“No time for that… give me the bag full of lotions for security check… That’s a good girl.” She is now beginning to function more smoothly.

“Henry, Grab that bag for the car and here… take the camera case… don’t drop that film on top”

“Chucky… where’s my Passport, I can’t find my ID… do you have my phone?”

“Your phone is in the office, the passport in my trip folder and your ID is still in you purse, now get a move on.”

I shut down the laptop… no return mail from Bassman… hmmm… is he meeting us in Newark for coffee between flights? Not sure how he’s gonna navigate security since we'll be at the other end of the concourse.

A quick shove of all the toiletries and stuff into the carryon bag, one last look in the office, grab a bottle of water for Illy and head to the car.

“Henry, get in the Left lane… no all the way over… that’s it.”

“Chuck, I know how to get there… CHILL!!! We’ll get there in time.”

As visions of long lines at check in… [we can’t do it curbside as we have to go inside for passport and visa checks], and even longer lines at security race through my mind, he swerves around a BIG MUTHA truck to exit at Griffin road for the back door entrance to the terminal.

“Here… left here…damn lousy signs.”

I Got it Chuck… CHILL!”

“No… the Up ramp… terminal 1… at the end… Continental… there….behind the truck.”

"I Got it…. Just CHILLLLL Chuck!”

I jump from the car as he rolls to a stop, pull the bags from the trunk, toss the camera case and pillows at Illy, yank the carryon from the back seat, blow kisses to Henry and race off to check in.

“Oh Blessed Day!”…. The lines are short and the nice lady after spotting our harried faces takes us under her wing, right to a kiosk and check in is quick, she even prints boarding passes for China and were off to find Gate C2.

Now to security… I have visions of Spain 2002 where the lines caused us to get separated and she set off all the alarms, got confused and left the camera and passports on the x-ray belt which we didn't notice till we were half way to the gate and I had to do the OJ impression running back to retrieve it, but low and behold…NO LINES!

Sooooo… I duck under the straps only to be sent back by the curt security lady,
”You can’t duck under straps… you must walk around.”
Who is she kidding… there’s no one here… ok…ok…zig…zag….zig….zag….ZIG…and ZAG….Sheeessshh.
“Yes maaam… that’s me on the passport… I was younger then… all this zig-zaging aged me.”
“What?” She scowled.
“Nothing maaam… yes its very early for sarcasm… No the passport has not expired… see… it says April 2008…yes maammm…. Thank you Maam.” [WITCH!]

The Dragon Lady keeps track of her stuff this time and remembers to take off all the bangles before she sets off all the alarms again.

Now they want all the film out of the case before the film check so I hold up the now lengthening line to unpack all the film that I had so neatly numbered and ordered, throw the laptop in the tub with the phone, shoes, money clip, blue tooth, first born and a partridge in a pear tree…[oooops wrong song] and stumble barefoot through the magic arch without incident. Now re-stuff the carryon, jam the film, now out of sequence, back in the case… I’ll sort it in Newark, and were off to the gate.

To our good fortune… Gate C2 was right off security instead of ALLLLLL the WAAAYYYYY at the end like all of our other flights.

“Hurry Chucky… there already boarding!”

“Got it Dear… here take the pillows,,, I’ll get the camera and carryon, lets book!”

Boarding went smoothly except for the Canadian couple with the 4 bratty kids who had to swap seats three times before we could settle in and…on to Newark for the first leg of what will surely be the SAGA of A LIFETIME … ”CHINA 2007” or as the Dragon Lady has taken to calling it… “Chucky Does China”.

Yes Dear hearts…I told ya in the last note there would be chaos, confusion and drama by the time we got on the plane but….The Wacky American Tourist and the ever lovely, if not verklempt Dragon Lady are:
OFF TO CHINA!!!!!

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
Chuck and the now completely awake and excited
Dragon Lady.

4.15-16.7-Sunday/Monday

5PM EST Somewhere over Greenland

Just had to get this down before I lose the thought.

Dragon Chick is hanging out the window…OK… glued to the window in the Galley with the digital camera collecting evidence that global warming DOES exist regardless of what DUBYA’s experts say… that is until I explain that the guy that takes this trip a lot was a tad mistaken on location and that the water he said was supposed to be ice was actually Davis Strait between Goose Bay and Greenland. [not that I come this way that often but the map on the in-flight screen, and the flight attendant that DOES come this way far more often confirmed this minor fact.]

So now she’s sulking that I burst that bubble… she was so sure she had enough evidence for impeachment on grounds of gross stupidity…bless her li’l environmental preservationist heart.

We’re 5 hours into the flight and everyone is up and walking around doing exercises and hydrating as much as possible… pretty decent ride except for the exit from Newark which was becoming socked in by a major storm front… half an hour later and we would have been on the ground for a long time.

Before I forget… a really Big Thanks to Class of ’60 long time pal Henry Bassman for braving the storm just to run over to the terminal hoping to coax the TSA into letting him past the BASTION OF TERRIORIST PROTECTION so we could have coffee during our 2 hour layover. Yeah right… like they're gonna do that. He did however sweet talk the nice supervisor lady [always the Silver Tongued Devil… some things never change] into letting me slip outside the RING OF STERILITY and catch up on each others lives, wives and adventures [all under the ever vigilant eye of a very stern looking TSA officer] who graciously slips me into the express line back into the sterile concourse. I'm just kidding the TSA they really do a great job under some really stressful circumstances and I'm always ready to comply with their every request… except for that one guy with the rubber gloves on the way to North Carolina the last time… but that’s another chapter in another book.

Time for a nap until she comes up with something else that tickles me about her excitement.


4PM Beijing

Flight relatively uneventful… Lots of walking around to keep the circulation in the legs and lots of hydration [Thank You Jewel] and a few nice meals and snacks but 13 HOURS with 2 movies, CSI New York and the Brady Bunch?!?!?

Boy I'm glad the pilot found Beijing on the first try. Of course we got there a half hour early and someone was still in our parking space so we sat on the taxi way for another 20 minutes… then someone else forgot the key to the front door and that took another 15 minutes to find so we actually stepped on Chinese Soil… OK… the Jetway, at 215pm Beijing time on Monday 4.16… or 2AM EST… At least the Dragon Lady got some sleep but I couldn’t get any and now I'm draggin’.

Health cards, passports, Immigration and Customs were a breeze as was baggage and on to find John Zhang our guide for the next 6 days who hustled us to the car where another Zhang our driver popped the luggage in the trunk and we were off to downtown Beijing and the Novotel, our home for the next 6 days. Ohhhh Yeahhhh the Ooooofffinnng and Eeeeeeking would have started with the kamikaze traffic but John kept her attention with a rundown of what we could expect and where we would be going, along with a little cultural does and don’ts etc.

Check in is great and the room delightful until... Chucky just had to try all the plugs and the travel converter and of course he blows the fuse [hmmmm didn't this happen in Florence, Italy too]. Now to get someone at the front desk [housekeeping and service don’t answer] to understand the problem. Seconds later a knock a the door and a delightful young lady comes in and after my broken Chinglish [Mandarin/English] explanation she decides she can’t handle it and will send a manager… who turns out to be the engineer on call. I show him the plug and converter, and he immediately pops open the ceiling, resets the fuse and we begin an interesting exchange in my pidgin Chinglish and his sign language as to the effectiveness of the not so trusty travel converter and the right settings… this leads to a call to another young squire, one Jack Liu who attempted his English and resorted to writing 110v on the desk pad… more attempts on all parts to decipher the right setting for the converter and then get it into the 3 way 240v plug by the bed where I want to put the phone charger… and of course they need to test it first before they let me blow anything else up so they unplug the TV and Mini Fridge unit and drag it close enough to the plug to try blowing up the TV first before they’ll let me plug in the phone charger. All is we'll, even the blow dryer works there… not that she'll use it in front of a blank wall…but it looks like makeup will be done at the desk.
"Xie Xie’s and "Bu ke Xie's" all around and they're off to solve another wayward tourist problem.

We head out for a quick tour of the neighborhood, the department store across the way to get bottled water and maybe a more trusty converter..[hmmm this happened in Spain too] and a quick bite before we crash. Might make it a few blocks down to Tienanmen Square for the national Flag lowering ceremony… then again...probably not.

BEJING… WE’RE HERE!!!!!!

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
Chuck
 and the now fading fast
Dragon Lady
[Hey… she got the sleep on the plane…]

4.16.7-Monday

Beijing Day 1
Or it may be Day 2… let me check

For the First time I was actually feeling short of Breath.

“Common Chucky, just a few more steps.”
“A few more?!?!?! Looks like 10,000.”
“Quit Whining, you’ll make it… Hey remember… You're in China at Last!”

Once again I get ahead of myself, I first have to finish last night or as our agenda calls it Day 1.

After checking in and settling into our room on the 11th floor overlooking the rooftops of Northern Beijing and what may or may not be the Hotel's rooftop tennis court -it is time [as we have been know to do on arrival in a strange country] to head out and look over the immediate neighborhood, perhaps getting lost a bit in the process, maybe find a more trusty electrical converter and most importantly, large quantities of bottled water to stock our room and the car for our tours.  The hotel charges a kings ransom for a bottle [as they all do] and we had been advised that the mall just south of the hotel had market that had the same stuff for 50% of the hotel price.


Once outside the hotel we were directed

to the Subway entrance which doubles as an underground tunnel to the other side of the busy avenue [did I say BUSY?]… CHAOTIC is more like it, I thought the kamikaze’s of Italy were bad… these folks, including the motor scooters, trucks, buses, Bicycles and even the pedestrians all drive and walk as if they have a "Death Wish". All the cars are equipped with that uniquely modern device known as a turn signal of which 99% of the drivers seem to have never been properly instructed as to the benefits of its use…or… perhaps they once tried it to no avail and have since abandoned the idea of ever using it again. They do however have perfect control of the horn and brakes, which I'm sure must have to be replaced every month.

Back to the trek. The Tunnel was interesting and took us to the south side of "Chaos Boulevard" [formally known as “Dong Jiao Min Xiang"…yeah, right… I like "Chaos" better…] as we passed the World Famous Maxim’s Restaurant [one of the original Western Restaurants in Beijing] we spotted the mall and on the way, passed what looked like an interesting Restaurant and we decided to check it out on the way back. The mall is in a massive office building and laid out like a department store with many floors with individual shops lining each floor that weaves in the oddest way around the entire building and includes an ice rink in one quadrant. By now the jet lag had really taken effect on us both and we really struggled to get around the place looking for the bulk water but the tchotchke crazed Dragon Lady just had to “see what’s over there… and lets try over there”… you know the drill. I had finally had it, and declared we had to head back before they had to send a stretcher to get me to the hotel [I have never felt this whipped]

On the way back I realized the interesting restaurant we had passed earlier was the local farmer’s style fresh market [one of the very few true ones left in central Beijing] where you can buy damn near anything you can think of, from fresh fish, eels, Peking Duck, food to go, Liquor, Jewelry, every imaginable fruit and nut… practically anything that begins with an “A”. I spotted the sundry department and a 12 pack of half liter water bottles for the same price as one bottle at the hotel, hoisted it on my shoulder and trudged back to the Hotel where the Attached Picture was taken at what we assumed to be the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.

Chucky’s first official Pic in Beijing.

I had run down to the Spa for a quick massage to get the kink out of my neck and almost fell asleep on the table., Its 1130pm and now I'm totaly fried…and this is longer than I planned. I still haven’t gotten to Day 2 the Forbidden City and the 630AM wake up call is looming. I'll just have to try and do some of Forbidden City in the car on the way to the Wall tomorrow morning… that should be interesting.

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
Chuck and the already out like a light
Dragon Lady.

4.17.7-Tuesday-Pt I

Beijing Day 2 – Pt I [Take II]
The Purple Forbidden City

Now where was I … Ahhh yes, our preview...

For the First time I was actually feeling short of Breath.
“Common Chucky, just a few more steps.”
“A few more?!?!?! Looks like 10,000.”
“Quit Whining, you’ll make it… Hey remember… You're in China at Last!”

Feet don’t fail me now… hips and knees either. This climb up Jingshan Park, better known as Coal Hill overlooking the Forbidden City will be the end of me [and I still have to climb the Great Wall!!!]… Uh-Oh… tummy starting to rumble…I sure don’t remember drinking any of the water or eating any raw veggies washed in it. Maybe it’s that slightly greasy lunch trying to push breakfast through… Now What?!? The closest “Facility” is all the way at the bottom and we haven’t climbed to the first pavilion yet……

But Wait… this comes later... lets start the day.

The day began with the trusty alarm clock acting more responsibly this time and beating the back up wake up call by 2 minutes and I sprang from my bed… ok, slinked from the covers after a fitful sleep and nudged the comatose Dragon Lady into her morning grumble…

“Don’t start with me! I know this time we’re not late and I'm gonna get ten more this time…”
“Yes my sleepy one but Teng and the driver will be here at 9AM so get up or the water starts…”
“OK…OK you nag, I'm up.
[I found that our guide’s true given name was Zhang Teng, the western JOHN is used for the benefit of non-Mandarin speaking tourists.]

With that we started the morning “Dance of The Tiny Bathroom” [lovely modern design…extremely narrow with horrible lighting] and got ready without much incident.
Down to the buffet breakfast which was very nice and bountiful… some interesting offerings from Western style scrambled eggs to Chinese noodles, cold meats, cereals, fruits, various breads and pastries and salads.

A quick trip back to the room to brush fangs and Teng was waiting in the lobby.

Our day will begin at Tiananmen Square and continue to the Forbidden city which is only 4 block from the hotel but the traffic on Chaos Boulevard is so jammed and the cross lights so short that we could have walked and gotten there 20 minutes faster.
Parking is west of the Square, touted as the “Biggest City Center Square in the World”
and after a brief introduction, Teng walked us to the south entrance which is guarded by the two massive Gates that straddle the line of the ancient city wall, the Arrow tower to the south and the Formal entrance to the inner city, north of the wall line. We pass the statues memorializing the Cultural Revolution in front of Chairman Mao’s Memorial [whose glass incased body is raised and lowered daily in a temperature controlled vault] and stepped onto the Famed Dragon Path to the Forbidden City within the Imperial city.

Teng is a student at the Ren Men University [Peoples University of China] working on his masters degree in Finance and was asked to guide us because our tour operator mistakenly confused my sending out NOWAT’s as my being a journalist who spoke Mandarin and they wanted a Bejing native for this most honored guest [boy did they have THAT wrong]… at least that’s his story and he’s sticking to it. He is very comfortable in his knowledge of China, its history and cultural influences and his pride shows… this is gonna be one helluva ride!

At this point I must beg your indulgence if I get a tad emotional throughout this trip, but those who know me, are well aware that this has been an adventure 40 years in the planning to include #7 on My Life’s List: “Walk on the Great Wall of China”. And at this moment as I gaze at the “The Heavenly Gate” [Tiananmen] entrance to the Imperial City, home to the 24 Emperors of the Ming and Qing dynasties beginning in 1369 AD, my heart begins to swell. I am about to walk the path of history. And I struggle to hold back the tears

Beijing’s actual dynastic rule began in 789AD with the Liao dynasty through the Qin, Yuan, Ming and Qing’s. But only the Ming’s and “Qing’s occupied the Forbidden City, [completed after 14 years of construction in 1420] until 1925 when the last emperor, Qing Pu Yi was deposed by the Communist Government.

Entering Tiananmen under the watchful eye of Chairman Mao [whose portrait is replaced with a fresh painting every October 1], the Dragon Lady snaps a shot of a very emotional Chucky at the Gates of Heaven. I am beginning to feel the goose bumps as I pass through the giant doors of the Inner City. The size and scope of the Inner City is amazing and we are told that of the 2 million people that lived within the walls of the Inner city, over half maintained the Forbidden City including 100,000 skilled artisans who designed and built most of the furniture, fixtures, and artifacts there. A brief walk around while Teng stands in the queue for tickets and we discover the display of cannons from the various dynasties that were not looted by the Japanese during WW II, each one a different design and function.

The unbelievable number of tour groups, with each guide waving a flag of the same color as their caps, is amazing. They are everywhere and have no compunctions in muscling their way through.

We are about to enter the Forbidden City and my heart is now racing… I, a mere commoner by the ancient standards, am about to set foot in the Head of the Dragon, where no commoner had tread prior to 1925 [except for the workers and eunuchs that served the Emperor]. Illy is snapping photos of my every step and as I cross the threshold into the Forbidden City my emotions get the best of me and I have to stop for a breath and wipe a tear… this is INCREDIBLE!!! I'm finally here walking the Dragons path where only the emperor’s sedan was carried [he never walked] and breathing the rarified air fit only for the Exalted one himself. It’s too much, and again I have to pause… this a moment I have waited 40 years for and the enormity of it to me is overwhelming.

Teng looks at me with a smile and instantly he understands. “Welcome Home”, he says. “It is as I felt the first time I stepped through Wu Men [South Gate] as well… I can feel your emotion Meng Tzi [using my Mandarin name] you are finally home.” And what a Homecoming!!! Now if I can just slow my Heart rate we can move on.

We proceed to walk slowly so I can overwork the camera…not including working Illy’s digital inside the artifact rooms. Each step is an adventure in learning, Teng’s running dialogue is eloquent and you can hear the pride in his voice as he brings us back over 600 years to the history of his heritage. The passion of his rhetoric is only equaled by his enthusiasm for teaching us as much as he can in such a short time. I sometimes have to slow him down he is so animated.

As we view the throne of the last emperor I recall the movie of the same name and can almost see young Qing Pu Yi as he ascended this very throne at the age of 7. More later about his love affair with the bicycle.

As Teng walked us through the many sections he discussed the 9,999 bedrooms contained in the Purple Forbidden City [he always refers to it by its formal name, never forgetting to included Purple in its title]. If you were to sleep just one night in each room, it would take you 27 years, 4 months and 21 days to do so.

Lots of photos of lots of neat stuff… to much to mention but here are a series of scenes from the Purple Forbidden City..

I'll end this part and continue with our trip to Bei Hai Park and Coal Hill in the next one. [Yeah I know Rene'… it’s a bit wordy but… hey… its Chucky so just sit back… roll your eyes again…and read on]

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
Chuck and the very tired but properly hydrated
Dragon Lady.

4.17.7-Tuesday-Pt II

Beijing Day 2 - Part II
Beihai Park And Coal Hill

We last saw Chucky and the ever lovely Dragon Lady rolling along through the Purple Forbidden City overworking the 35mm camera and digital [he took 4 rolls in the forbidden city alone] and heading for the North Gate to meet our Driver Zhang Yong Shan [who we called Mario Andretti for his kamikaze style of driving but who we found out later refers to him self as the “Kung Fu Driver”].

We are delivered to a delightful Szechuan style restaurant for lunch. Soup so-so, Jasmine tea too aromatic, beef and chicken dishes “Ok”… had to ask for rice but the beer was good.

Try to get a pic of the cute waitress trying on a paper cooks hat but she spotted me and with a major blush on ducked under the table she was setting and wouldn’t come out until I put the digital away.

Now off the Beihai Park built by the Qing dynasty, a small island, or islet at they refer to it in the middle of two large lakes. As Beijing is land locked, several lakes were created around the city and named Seas. Beihai sits between the North and Middle Seas. Additionally all waterways in Beijing are connected except those that have become polluted and these have been dammed off.

The symmetry of the design and harmony of the paintings and colors along with the cool fresh breeze off the lake amplify the tranquility of the area and we understand why the emperors would come to just enjoy the serenity.

Beihai also is home to the White Marble Pagoda, a Lama Buddhist temple high on the hill in the center of the park… didn't feel like going thorough what our guide described as a so-so temple and that we would see better on the 5th day so we move on to a spot where an old man was using the lake water to write Chinese characters on the porous stone and offered Chucky his brush to try his hand at it. The look on his face and of those around was priceless when I took his brush and proceeded to write my Mandarin name in Mandarin characters. He congratulated me in precise Mandarin on my excellent hand and was even more set back when I answered him in Mandarin. Then he and the crowd applauded as Teng told him that I was just an American on tour. Illy just loves the look this decidedly western looking dude gets when the locals try to hustle me and I tell them off in Mandarin. Still a bit rusty… but I'm getting’ it back.

Pictures all around, and we headed back through the small local residential area waving off the ever present and animatedly insistent peddlers to Jensheng Park, or as it is referred to, Coal Hill. [So named by the locals, as the previous dynasty had destroyed the pavilions and stored coal there to heat the Purple Forbidden city. The current incarnation was constructed by the Ming’s to overlook the forbidden city with 5 elaborate pavilions that once housed exquisite Buddha’s which where looted by the “8 Allied Forces” during WW II.

Teng suggests we start at the western most Pagoda and work our way to the central one for a great view of the Forbidden City. We start the climb and at once realize… this ain't gonna be so quick. Aside from being grossly out of shape, the head cold I had last week has lingered in my sinus’ and I am already pooped from the saunter through the Inner City. I really need to butch up and get this done.

For the first time in a long while I was actually feeling short of Breath.
“Common Chucky,” smirks the Dragon Lady, “just a few more steps.”
“A few more?!?!?! Looks like 10,000.”
“Quit Whining,” she begins to wheeze, “You’ll make it… Hey remember… You're in China… at Last!”

Feet don’t fail me now… hips and knees either. This climb will be the end of me [and I still have to climb the great wall!!!]… Uh-Oh… tummy starting to rumble…I sure don’t remember drinking any of the water or eating any raw veggies washed in it. Maybe it’s that slightly greasy lunch trying to push breakfast through… Now What?!? The closest “Facility” is all the way at the bottom and we haven’t climbed to the first pavilion yet…
Teng suggest that if it’s too much we should stop at the first pavilion and then head down. I must have a real flushed look but I vow to carry on. Now Illy is beginning to pant a little heaver and looks at me with that “Don’t you dare say a word” look.

Stomach really starting to rumble now but the stubborn little Sicilian pushes on to the next pavilion and after a brief rest on to the top. Teng was right… the view was breathtaking and after some basic history and several pics I announce it would be best for all if we headed down NOW because Lunch was definitely looking for an exit.

We all know that tight cheeked walk when our system is rebelling… try it down 200 meters of uneven steps and sharp inclines where every jolt of a misstep brings the sheer panic of a mortifying incident. We reach the bottom and Teng guides us to the closest facility… and not a second too soon. With baby wipes, toilet seat cover and pocket tissues in hand [thanks again Jewel] I race into the only western stall in the place and all is well in my universe.

This would be a good time to discuss a bit about The Facilities” in China. If you haven’t been to an Asian country lately be prepared for a rude awakening. While Beijing is rapidly trying to prepare for the 2008 Olympics, many of the traditional tourist sites still employ the toilet of their ancestors, “The Hole”. In most cases, a porcelain version of the hole in the ground. These nifty things resemble a western commode except they are nothing more than commode shaped hole in the floor with places to put your feet on either side so you may perform the necessary functions in a squatting position. Now while many of the ladies reading along are very familiar with the semi-squat they have had to adopt in manya messy western ladies rooms, this requires a level of dexterity and clothing avoidance most of us are unaccustomed to. Needless to say… you begin to appreciate Western plumbing in a whole new light. And as in all hits and miss public facilities…[all puns intended] you need to bring your own TP. Baby wipes are an extra precaution. Be forewarned.

With my crisis solved, its time to head out to the oldest surviving artisan factory, claiming 15 generations of skilled carpenters who have produced all the furniture in the forbidden city for the last 300 years through the last emperor Qing Pu Yi.

The workmanship at the Jingxin Yu Long Pang Furniture Factory and show room is incredible. The detail and precision of the hand carvings and furniture is exquisite. No wonder he emperor awarded one of the patriarchs of his generation with a yellow coat, [yellow being worn only by the emperor himself] therein establishing his shop as the top of the heap. Of course the purpose of half the “factory” tours is to let them hustle you in a very subtle way into buying something and of course… you don’t have to tell the tchotchke driven Dragon Lady twice that there is an “outlet shop”…right this way. Fortunately she got sticker shock at half of what she liked and settled on miniature carvings of our Chinese Zodiac animals, a tiger for her and a horse for me.

A quick run to Dinner… we were fading fast, at one of the “Best Mandarin style” restaurants around [hmmmm I'm beginning to get wise to this “Best Around” routine] but the meal was filling the soup much better and I just had to order an interesting bottle of “Dynasty” Wine, a dry red wine which was touted as sweeter than the other offering “Great Wall”. Medium dry and not soon to make my all time favorite list, but worth taking the remainder to the room as we were defintely DONE.

Back at the hotel I headed to the spa for a quick massage to get the nagging crick out of my neck since the flight… almost fell asleep on the massage table… crawl back to the room to pen last nights Beijing Day 2. I crashed at 11:30. “Take II” was actually written in the car to and from the Great Wall but who cares about the sequence… just enjoy the ride.

Tomorrow… The Great Wall…

I CANT WAIT!!!!.

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You

Chuck and the totally exhausted but still smiling
Dragon Lady.

4.18.7 Wednesday-Pt I

Beijing Day 3 Pt I
The Great Wall – Sacred Way – Ming Tombs

Thirteen…. Fourteen… fifteen… just 2 more…Roger was right, all these steps are uneven numbers.
Ok… take a break… breath deep… drink some water… move on.
“You OK Honey? Just a few more steps and you can rest over here?”
“You really want to get way up there?”
“Yes Dear… and you can do it too!”
She is such a trooper to get up here with Teng and I… just two more towers to go….

Yeah… you'll have to wait for the rest. Now that I've set the scene…lets start the day.

The Alarm went off at 630AM as we needed to get a jump on the rush hour traffic to the Great wall which was a normal hour and half drive. A quick “Dance of the Tiny Bathroom” and quicker breakfast and we meet Teg and ZhangYong for the trip.

I took the laptop along to make notes along the way [it's 45 minutes to Ba Da Ling so why not] and to finish yesterdays NOWAT. Zhang the "Kung Fu driver" got a big kick out of this as did Teng. It really did make it easier to remember the details he was imparting as we went along.

A few facts about the wall that might interest some and cause the eye glaze in others [you know who you are].

First important fact… the Chinese LOVE walls. They build them all over for the weirdest reasons.
Next: Only the 5000km of the Wall north of Beijing can be called the Great Wall of the Ming Dynasty. The Qin & Han dynasties built their own “Great Walls” elsewhere in the country but according to our guide they don’t count. Those were built mostly of earth and wood not the elaborate brick and mortar version that snakes from the Pacific across the grassland to the Gobi desert,
Of the 24 dynasties that ruled in China – 5 did not build or add on to the great wall.
Built from 1369 to 1644, The Qing dynasty actually put in a section facing their own nomadic tribe, never rebuilding any part of the main wall that had been either torn down by successive dynasties or deteriorated do to weather conditions.
Said to be built from the sea and ending in the Gobi dessert it was actually started just north from Beijing and spread to the East and West as its initial purpose was to protect the Purple Forbidden City. It actually stretches a total of 6350km, not counting the 1000km that the Qing tore down to build their little addition.
From the wall to Beijing there are over 3600 beacon towers the number rose and fell according the government coffers as soldiers had to be stationed at each one.

We arrive at the Ba Da Ling Section of the wall, one of the most popular areas for tourists… so popular there is 4 star hotel there.

I'm beginning to feel the emotion well up again as it did in the Forbidden City. I am about to step foot on another life long quest and Teng again senses my excitement.
Relax Meng Tsi,” he smiles, “save the energy for the Climb.”

After a few pictures of the wall as it snakes across the mountains we ascend the eastern side and set our sights on the watchtower we are told is approximately ½ a kilometer away… of course that half a klick is at a very steep incline. Since the placement of each watchtower on the wall was measured by the distance of one Bow shot [insuring that any breaches would be caught in crossfire] I figured NO PROBLEM....
WROOOOONG!!

The jumping off point has all the resident vendors that hustle all sorts of tchotchkies including plaques that are engraved on the spot attesting to ones completion of the trek. So of course I had to order a couple for collection upon our descent from the summit.

We step onto the first section and head out at a medium pace stopping first for a picture of Chucky’s first step onto his goal. Teng has told me that it takes him 25-30 minutes to make the ascent and after evaluating my condition decides that a reasonable pace it should take Illy and I [yep… she vows to do it with me] about 40 minutes +/ -. And the first section has me fooled… fairly level we get to the first watchtower quickly… but then it turned ugly…

Thirteen…. Fourteen… fifteen… just 2 more…
Roger was right, all these steps are uneven numbers.
Ok… take a break… breath deep… drink some water… move on.
“You OK Honey? Just a few more steps and you can rest over here?”
“You really want to get way up there?”
“Yes Dear… and you can do it too!”
She is such a trooper to get up here with Teng and I… just two more towers to go…

The trek up the wall is getting steeper and steeper, originally designed with such an uneven surface to keep any breaching army from running up on any watchtower [run… Hell I may not be able to even crawl up dammit!!!] and I really Wanted to do this?!?! I gotta have my head examined when I get back. Huff… puff….[if I ever get back!] Wheeze.. wheeeeze…..boy am I looking forward to the descent!!! [Be careful what you wish for I recall an ancient sage once saying]

Tower 3 done and the Big Mutha up top still looms… the steps up are big time uneven and the traffic down doesn’t make it any easier, but after several stops for pics and more importantly many deep breaths and hydration we reach the steepest stair set… feet don’t fail me now…. this baby makes the trek up Coal Hill look like a walk in the park [wait… that WAS a park].

At last…. We reach the summit [or at least OUR summit] YES dear hearts… CHUCKY HAS CLIMED THE WALL!

We take a well deserved break, a few more pics and start the descent which ain't as easy as it looked. And of course I am really concerned about the Dragon Lady who fell down all over San Francisco with less incline than this.

We make it back to the tchotchke stand and proudly collect my plaque, a few postcards of shots I couldn’t get and head off to the refreshment stand for an espresso and a rest for the feet before we find the car and head to lunch.

Air Fare: $900

Private Tour: $2200

Checking #7 off your life’s list:

"PRICELE$$ "

Ming Tomb and Sacred Way will follow soon… time to crash.

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
Chuck and the fully exhausted but very proud to have made it 
Dragon Lady

4.18.7 -Wednesday Pt II

Bejing Day 3 Pt II
Ming Tombs and Sacred way

It Seems that the Dragon Lady feels that we should talk some more about the Magnificent view from the Wall, and how the Wall winds like a restless dragon across the horizon and beyond. How the wind nearly blew her over when she was close to Exhaustion nearing the last Guard house on our trek. She also thinks I should amplify more of my feelings about finally achieving a life long… OK…a 40 year dream, the raw emotion that swept over me as I took the last step into the uppermost guard tower on our trek, or how it got warmer and warmer as we got higher and higher [and windier and windier]. She also thinks I should apologize for being so brief and crashing before I got the Day finished, but I really don’t think any of that is necessary soooooo we won’t mention it.

On with our story
After we left The Wall, we headed to the Cloisonné factory which produced the vases and artifacts for the Forbidden city and saw how some of this magnificent combination of brass or terra cotta, copper and enamel come together, from the firing of the terra cotta to the addition of intricate copper wire to elaborate designs, to adding the first coat of enamel. The work is then fired in a REALLY HOT kiln which shrinks the enamel, then another coat is added and so on until the enamel is even with the depth of the wire design and then polished numerous time until we get the beautiful glistening vases, teapots jewelry etc, on sale around the world. After the demos we wind through the tchotchke shop and up the elevator to an excellent lunch.

Some of the foodies amongst you have asked us to comment more on the meals so blame them if these get a little longer than two pages and resembles a Food & Wine review from here out.

Day 3’s lunch is held in a restaurant above the factory and is one of the largest Government operated restaurants open to the public. The green tea was steeped to perfection, and the starters were fresh roasted peanuts and pineapple. The ox tail soup with just the right amount of tang was perfection with bits or meat and veggies. The Pepper Steak Szechuan style served in a hollowed bamboo casserole was the best I have ever had on any continent, not overly saucy with great pepper flavors from tiny red Chinese peppers. Another dish was Chicken in a citrus glaze with pineapple, all served with the obligatory steamed cabbage and white rice. This meal rated ****+ stars on Chucky’s 5 star system.

After lunch The Tchotchke Queen took over the tour and proceeded directly to the tchotchke store on the first floor. After many oooooohssss and ahhhhhhs and “Que Cute’s” later she has made a good dent in her “gotta bring sumpthin’ back” list and I headed to the cashier to asses the real damage.

We meet our driver and guide Zhang Yong and Zhang Teng [no relation] outside [I have been trying to get them to join us for lunch or dinner but it appears to be against all the rules [some archaic separation of the classes imposed on them by the agency that booked our tour] but I'll get them to break bread with us yet. [Ya know I will]Off to the Sacred way which in ancient times lead to the “Ming Tombs” but are actually some a bit away and had no real function except to honor dignitaries and high officials with a lot of strange but elaborate stone carvings. It begins with the White marble arch and is followed, further down the road, by the Red gate.

Next comes the Stone tablet Pavilion housing a giant Stone Tablet telling us we have arrived at the Ming Tomb. The Sacred way is lined with 36 stone pieces along the way, 24 animals in groups of 4 each the first 2 sitting the 2nd two standing along with 12 officials, 2 of each rank. Originally built to honor the scholars and officials of the dynasties, it has evolved into a presumed avenue to the Ming tombs. It is a long and pleasant walk as the path is lined with lush greenery and the tranquility is very calming.
We meet our driver a the other end and head for the Ming Tombs, and the boys get into a heated exchange over who knew the best route. Two U turns later… we arrived at the tombs just in time.The layout of the Ming Tomb’s 44 sq/km area is designed as a tree with the first emperor Zhu Di at the head and the 12 others arranged by generation on each side downward to the entrance in perfect harmony.

The site was selected by favored scholars of all the religious and philosophical movements, Taoism, Buddhism, Feng Shui, the Five Element theory, Yin Yang theory and the Confucius School including it’s co-founder, my main man Meng Tzi the great thinker after whom I was named by my teachers. They located the right spot, and even sent so far as to tasted the earth to insure it wasn’t poisoned. They then invited the emperor to visit, feel the harmony of the region and approve. Once approved the work began building an under ground tomb that took 14 years to build and once competed the 300 skilled workers involved in building it were killed to keep the access secret.

We only had time to get through the main hall which was enormous and after climbing to the top for spectacular view, the guards advise us that the park was closing so after Chucky supervises the changing of the guard, we made our way down the manicured dragon path to our car and back to civilization… did I mention the Tombs were waaaaaayyyyy outside Beijing?

We now arrived at Ya Wang “King of Duck”. We had purposely swapped the “Welcoming Peking Duck Dinner” scheduled for Day 2 as it was on the way back from the Tombs. The starters were some slivers of Very Cold Duck… not the liquid kind and a radish/beet item… not impressive. A tasteless soup and a mediocre Chicken Dish appeared as did the sauces and garnish for the main course. The Duck was surgically deconstructed table side and steamed crepes were brought to make hand wraps… for the King of Duck… they are living on reputation… not the quality of the food. The soup was not memorable enough to mention and I quickly abandoned the crepe routine preferring to mix he Duck with the ever-present Rice. Overall the King of Duck gets a ** rating. I will be sending the agency my thoughts on the meals and selections.

By now we are fried and we stumble back to the hotel where after a quick shower, I finished the NOWAT for day before and crashed early. Tomorrow we'll report on Fragrance Hill Park, The Summer Palace and a slight change in plans.

We are several days behind as the days have been long and our guide has kept us moving so much we are exhausted too exhausted nightly but very happy with the trip to date. This is actually being written on Saturday after a wild ride through the Hutong and having to pack for the flight to Xian. I'll try to catch everything up on the flight and on the way in from the airport as long as our guides there don’t have too much planned on arrival.

We certainly hope you are enjoying traveling with the Wacky American Tourist and the ever lovely Illy… if not… there’s always root canal, or the delete button.

再见朋友
Zài Jiàn Péng-You
Chuck and the very wupped but very contented 
Dragon Lady.